1. |
sedate me
01:52
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somebody sedate me
someone call me crazy
someone call my dad
someone call my mum, i'm going numb again
i don't want to try oh i've tried everything
i don't want to die but i can't keep living
all the music i make is too sad for you
all the shit i say is too mad for you to argue back with me
like gravity i'll fall into whatever i've go to do
i'll fall and lie and cry and die
but i'll still do it, i'll still do it
and i'll wear my mothers jeans cause mine don't fit me
and i'll cry myself to sleep, oh at least i'm sleeping
oh at least i'm eating, oh at least i'm trying, at least i'm trying
somebody sedate me
someone call me baby
someone call my dad
someone call my mum, i'm going numb again
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2. |
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3. |
sometimes i think i
03:43
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i think it’s pretty when you can see through my tights to my knees
i think it’s nice when you walk with me and we climb in the trees
i’ll be kind to myself
i put my little body through hell
you read me like a book
you know me well
i could destroy you with a look
you know looks can kill
oh i read you like a book
i know you well
you could destroy me with a look
looks can kill
i thinned out
i settled down
i moved on
i’ve grown
i held on hope
i let it all go
i let it all out
it’s always me in my room
me in the mirror
my skins getting clearer
my body’s getting thinner
i don’t know how
to love me from the ground up
love me when it’s tough
to love me like i’m enough
to love me like i don’t fuck up
sometimes i think i
if i really tried
i would drive off the bridge at night
sometimes i think i
could love you for a life time
i love when the sun starts to set but the street lights haven't come on yet
you hate when flowers die, but baby so do you and i
can we dance in the moonlight before the street lights cover our eyes
before we get too tired and call it a night
sometimes i think i
could love you for a life time
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4. |
barbed-wire backbone
04:08
|
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barbed wire back bone
i’ll be be the one who takes you home
white light door way
i’ll say the words i could never say
police car headlights
i’ll get a good rest tonight
cunt couldn’t control constant callousness
i kiss my friends in bathroom stalls
i bought new overalls
i hope you trip and fall
with your barbed wire back bone
you’ll be the one who holds on hope
i’ll be the one who falls asleep alone
you’ll fall into me like a knife
after you’re gone i'll sew myself up tight
he thinks he left a mark but it was the other guy
i paint on my eyelashes so u think i’m batting my eyes
blush my cheeks so u think i feel alright
i can’t cry unless i really try
i can’t love unless i honestly lie
you don’t know me like i do
car seat head rest
i feel a little depressed
bedroom dancing
l'eau du chancing my fate
i’d see u every day if i could
but i know that i shouldn’t
with my teddy bear necklace
you hold my hips and move me out the way
but i’d rather let someone bump into me
than be your property
car seat headrest
they say it’s only sex
i drain your wine
and i drain your time
you drain my mind
by making me think about the space and time we occupy
with your
with your
with your barbed wire back
i’ll be the one who falls asleep alone
listen
it’s the dark side of the sun
i’ll be the one with the loaded gun
you’ll be one that falls in love
i’ll be the one with the gun cocked
and you’ll be the one who gets shot
you’ll bleed out and we’ll call it falling in love
but it’s my barbed wire back bone
that makes me hold on hope
barbed wire back bone wants to be the one who drives you home
and falls asleep on your pillow
i’m the dark side of the sun
i'm no good for anyone
it’s my barbed wire back bone
makes me fall asleep alone
makes me scared to get too close to u
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5. |
blush
02:20
|
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i’ll call you on the rotary phone
i’m just trying to get you alone
play me songs that i don’t know
humm and hold me close
give me those eyes of doe
hold me like a cigarette
between middle and index
take a big deep breathe
i can breathe when i’m with you!
i can breathe when i’m with you
rush the blush of new
rush the blush of you
burnt out just from being around
i’ll bunny hop to your side of town
can you pick me up cause i’m down
i can play my dads guitar
pretend like you wont break my heart
i had lunch with my brother
i spoke to my mother
i can drive on the interstate!
i can drive i have a brain!
i can try not to die
i can try not to die
blush the rush of new
blush the rush of you
me and the St. Pete streets are good friends now
the concrete, the trees and the birds
big coffee! sweaty seat, shakey hands, silly me
i wont think of it as anymore than it was
friends who adore
friends who ignore
friends who snore
and friends who are nothing more!
i’ll call you on the rotary phone
i’m just trying to get you alone
rush the blush of new
rush the blush of you
rush the blush of you
you got me blushing for you
|
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6. |
breathing back in
03:46
|
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all my music sounds worse that it used to
my friends don’t call like they used to
i don’t feel like i used to
i’m digging a hole for myself in the worst way
should of seen my parents faces
i live and i die in my room
i live and i die 4 you
my music doesn’t sound like it used to
my friends don’t call like they used
i bruise easy now
i lose easy now
i breathe out
don’t know if i’ll be breathing back in
breathing back in
breathing back
breathing back
breathing back in
i don’t see myself like i used
i talk to the mirror like i always do
oh i feel i feel it all for you
i lose sleep and i don’t eat
but it’s worse than it used to be
i hate you for doing this to me
i should be better now
i bruise easy now
i lose easy now
i breathe out
i don’t know if i’m breathing back in
breathing back in
breathing back
breathing back in
breathing back
breathing back in
breathing back in
it’s so hard to live
breathing back in
i can touch nose
and crinkle my nose
i can hold on hope
i can feel the world
i can feel alright
it’s not about what you did, i’m over it
it’s about me and how i live
i can’t really blame you for this
i can’t really blame you for this
i should be better now
i bruise easy now
i lose easy now
i bleed freely now
i should be better now
i breathe out
i breathe out
i don’t know if i’m breathing back in
breathing back in
breathing back in
breathing back
breathing back
breathing, breathing
breathing back in
|
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7. |
baby my bad
03:46
|
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you cry like a baby
i cradle you but maybe i shouldn’t
your call makes me nervous
your fall makes you bruise baby bloody and blue
i don’t want to ruin it
but i probably have
i'm sorry baby my bad
i'm sorry baby my bad
i'm sorry baby my bad
it's my bad
apparently i can't communicate
i don't want to hurt the way we are
it's delicate, it's between the bars
it's soft as snow and it's cold and callous
is this what love is to you?
will we make it through November to December
love and burning embers
love til it burns out
the fire place has burned down
it burned the house and now there’s nothing left
but the ruble of what was once a great love
i didn't mean to paint you like that
it's my bad, i'm sorry
|
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8. |
plastic petal poison
02:00
|
|||
on the floor with my pistol aimed in the mirror
i used to wait for you to pick me off the ground
plastic petal poison
girl with thick skin, i'll be your kin
you leave a kiss on my skin
i’ll wait for you to walk away
i fill up my days with
plastic petal poison
new ways to let all the boys in
oh i ripped my tights but i don't mind
i love the lights at night
the river beside the museum
i can pretend that i'm a Parisian, i'm a Parisian
i drink up my plastic petal poison
i let let all the boys in
just to see your face
when you realize your mistake
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9. |
if i'm not up i'm down
04:14
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my mum likes my hair tied up
but i prefer it covering my face
boys like my legs around them
but i prefer my feet on the ground
and i keep my flowers after they've died
oh i hold on so damn tight
my fingers turn purple with desire
my fingers turn purple you’re a liar
cause boys like my legs around them
but i prefer my feet on the ground
these days if i’m not up i’m down
if i’m not up i'm down
if i’m not up i'm down
if i’m not up i'm down
you like when i'm submissive
but i like to be in charge
you don’t like when i flirt with guys
but baby it’s what gets me high
i hold on so tight
even when you don't treat me right
i hold on so tight
and i tell you that it’s alright
these days if i don't try i'll die
if i don't try i'll die
if i don't try i'll die
these days if i’m not up i’m down
if i’m not up i'm down
i wonder why you keep me around
and we'll kiss and make up or we'll kiss let me go
either way i don't really know how i feel about it
i'm sick of legs spread, mansplain, i'm so sick of the male brain
all you know is kiss and let go
all you know is what you want
i may look like a ghost, but you're the one who haunts
all a boy knows is what he's wants
these days if i’m not up i’m down
if i’m not up i'm down
if i’m not up i'm down
if i don't try i'll die
if we flirt it doesn't mean that i owe you anything
nobody kisses me just to kiss me
nobody misses me just to miss me
i'm just an object in your eyes, aren't i?
these days
oh these days if i’m not up i’m down
nobody kisses me just to kiss me
if i’m not up i'm down
nobody misses me just to miss me
if i’m not up i'm down
nobody kisses me just to kiss me
if i’m not up i'm down
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10. |
space invader
02:29
|
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4 walls keep closing in
i can feel it on my skin again
but i think about u more than i’d like too
the girl you loved i don’t know who she was or where she went
i think i killed her when you left
there ain't no use mourning a love that's better off dead
but it’s always the same 2 chords and same 4 walls and the same 3 words i could never say
the same 3 words when you walked away
the same 4 walls that watch me fade
the same 4 walls that watch me fade
the same old skin that feels my blade
oh space invader whose gonna save her?
space invader whose gonna save her now?
whose gonna save her from her self?
whose gonna save her from the rest of the world?
oh she’s just your little girl
oh space invader whose gonna save her?
space invader whose gonna save her now?
the same 4 walls that always let her down
the same 2 chords that are tired out by now
oh clementines and paper cuts
is he really the one i love?
maybe baby you should just give up
go on and chop all your hair off
you're already someone he's forgot
|
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11. |
foolish
03:37
|
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i should go back to looking at my feet
i’m a shoegazer through and through
it’s too dangerous making eye contact with you
cause kisses aren’t promises
kisses aren’t promises
get in your car and drive it all over me
get in your car and drive it all over me
you may be a pretty boy
but you still treat me like a toy
you’re as predictable as a pop song
knee deep in the national pop league
knee deep in trying to love me
knee deep
just get in your car and drive it all over me
get in your car and drive it all over me
drive it all over me, drive it all over me
you can keep your cheap affection
save it for genuine reflection!
you can keep the blushed knees
save it for a girl you can please!
cause kisses aren’t promises
kisses aren’t promises
i know you miss her
i know you’d rather kiss her
knee deep
knee deep
get in your car and drive really far from me
that’s what you’re gonna do eventually
just get in your car and drive it all over me
i should go back to looking at my feet
i’m a shoegazer through and through
it’s too dangerous looking at you
|
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12. |
distance's mistress
03:49
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🍓🎸🧚♀️🦇🧸
i'm seeing dots again
and i miss my childhood friends
i should tell the truth but i’d rather lie with uand sleep it off
till the pain we felt is just an after thought
2,3,4
i’ll be distance’s mistress
a gun in a sundress
a dog in collar
there if you want her
intimacy is close
sleeping with my scent again
i’ll pretend i'm your friend
you’ll get overwhelmed
distance is the solution
i’ll go back to polluting in my room
licking my wounds in my room
pretending i'm over u in my room
i should tell the truth but i’d rather lie with u
i should tell the truth but i’d rather lie next to u
and sleep it off
till the pain we felt is just an after thought
sleeping with my scent again
i’ll pretend i'm your friend
i’ll pretend like i know how to bend and sway
like a willow in the wind
how i wish i was a kin to a willow in the wind
(like a willow in the wind)
i don’t lean and sway
(like a willow in the wind)
i break
not like a willow in the wind
i break
not like a willow in the wind
i’ll be distance’s mistress
i’ll be your last kiss
eye contact through glasses
i’ll be your back pocket baby
i’ll be your mother fucking maybe
and you can sleep with my scent
but i's not the same as sleeping with me
|
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13. |
out here with the dogs
02:22
|
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pushing me away again
this time i’ll stay, away
you pick me up just to put me down
you say you like to have me around
i'm like a pistol
if you shoot me i make sound
i make i sound
i’m always tasting blood
i’m never the one you love
i’m always feeling cold
i’m never the hand you hold
i bite the hand that feeds me
i ruin my life completely
you leave me alone, believe me
i'm better off out here with the dogs
slobber at the mouth
am i breathing loud?
you're pushing me away again
this time i’ll stay there
this time i'll stay
|
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14. |
indigo heart
03:17
|
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we’re better at falling apart than being together
you’re better at being mine in the cold weather
you borrow my sweater, my hand in yours
you need to be warm and i’m the cure
talk back boy
talk back baby
i know you crave me
yeah you make me crazy
baby you save me
and the flowers in my room they died
and the night i had i lied
it's still aways you and i
and you like me well that’s alright
but you love me that feels like a crime
it's just you and your southern skies
it's just me and my mothers sighs
and it's just us at the end of the night
it’s just me and my indigo heart
it’s just me and my indigo heart
it’s just me and my self made scars
it’s just me and my indigo heart
it’s just me and my indigo heart
it’s just me and my indigo heart
i used to crawl through the dog door on the nights you wanted more
you wear me like a stain
does my name bring pain?
you only wanted me if i'm nobody else's
but love isn't possession
|
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15. |
baby's on a bender
05:33
|
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comfort of the cold floor
leave me like a closed door
i was in love once before
but not anymore
i don’t know how i feel but that’s nothing new
boys in blue dressed up to pursue
but i’m just dressed up for you
i went on a bender
baby likes the fender
i’ll take you out and i’ll take you home
i’ll end up alone but that’s the way i like it
he takes it from behind cause that’s the way he likes it
but i’ve gotta go water my plastic rose
hope my balloon heart doesn’t explode
cause baby’s on a bender
it might end her
i went on a bender
baby likes the fender
Loveless at 21
a year ago i was in love
i hope he drowns, i should be over it now
but i can't let go of the past
its been a year since that
i can't let go of anything
dirty sinks and wedding rings
your sister cries just in time for you to shut your eyes
your brother lies
your mother sighs
the nightly news
tighten the noose
tighten the noose
tighten the noose
tighten the noose
cause baby’s on a bender
it’s might end her
don't try to defend her
baby’s on a bender
~voicemail from Elly <3~
"hello, are you in the bathroom?
can you text me?
are you okay?
i'm sorry i cannot hear a single thing if you are saying anything
but i hope you're okay
um are you okay?
we're gonna head downstairs
are you okay?
i have no idea what you're saying if you're saying anything
i'm gonna text you cause i can't hear you
but i love you and i hope you're okay"
baby’s on a bender
baby’s on a bender
don't call i won't answer
don't fall i won't catch her
don't try to defend her
i'm on a bender
i'm on a bender
i will get better
i'm on a bender
i will get better
i'm on a bender
|
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16. |
fall wings and all
02:24
|
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love letters and loose change
the girl she’s deranged
roses don’t stay the same
so why i should i
thorns and all with horns she falls
not much of an angel after all
i’ll take a big bite
so i can stomach the night
watch me fall wings and all
adorned with self loathing
she kills for a thrill
give her some life or she take her own
give her some space or she'll leave you alone
how do the stars and the moon know how to cope without the light
are they not scared of the night
just sow me up tight
|
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17. |
swallowing spoon-fed
02:33
|
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if i wasn't burning red red hot
i might of forgot all the ways you used to say 'i love you'
i might weigh more but i'm just as pretty
you might not even miss me
i look out the window say goodbye to the city
i look out the window oh i miss me
shinning free
breathing deep
swallowing what u spoon feed me
in summer i was pretty
with my freckles and the gritty
my bloody knuckles it hit me
i'm not your baby
you don't have to save me
you degrade me
down play me
flame thrower
slut talker
whore walker
i'm just a girl with time to kill
run me dry
drink me out
burn it down
see if i care when you don't come around
you don't have to save me, i'm nobodies baby
not the man at the bar whose staring hard
not the man who thinks he knows which way i drive home
i live this life alone
i'm nobodies baby
please don't try to save me
fuck you for trying
|
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18. |
ruby haunt
01:49
|
|||
there’s little forests in my head
i’m just a little person who inhabits them
i work until i’m bruised in my shoes
i’m nice until i’m clawing for the truth
and you haven’t called me in a while
my rotary phone is missing your dial
how can love turn to hate
like all things with time they fade
i guess that's what i'm afraid of
never thought i’d be the girl you’d want
always thought i'd be your ruby haunt
you shattered me like glass and now it's red
you were falling in love and then you bled
i'll wear in my hair in pleats, i'll wash my sheets
and i’ll learn to leave you
never thought i’d be the girl you’d want
always thought i'd be your ruby haunt
|
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19. |
always try
03:17
|
|||
my roses always die
i fail but i always try
haven't seen you in 10 weeks now but whose really keeping count
i count sheep to fall asleep
but whose really sleeping without
you tell me to eat like it’s easy
you tell me say no
like i was even asked
i got stuck in the mirror again
i'm ignoring my friends
i slept, i ate, and i stayed in
these days it's just the moon to keep me company as i fall asleep
and the sun to keep me warm on my drive home
i don't day dream, far too dangerous
but when i fall asleep, i slip into dreams and they're all about you
oh i can’t sing cause i threw up my dinner again
when will it ever end
oh i guess it just depends
and all my songs have got too sad
i can’t even show my dad
and my mum won’t listen at all
my roses always die
oh i’ll fail but i’ll always try
|
||||
20. |
whatever happened to us
02:57
|
|||
"look how cute it is"
"that is quite cute, oh you, you too"
it’s around this time of night i’d call you
knee deep into a bottle of wine
i’d tell u how
i miss u
we haven’t spoke in a good few months
you met a girl and fell in love
and you ignored me just because she told you to
it’s around this time of night i’d call you
knee deep into a bottle of wine
i’d tell u
how i love you
whatever happened to us
you met a girl and fell in love
and i write songs about it just because i want to
cause i miss u
"train from Glasgow to England automated message"
i won't lie and say i don't miss you
i won't lie and say i wouldn't kiss you
if your eyes were looking into mine tonight
but you've got a girl friend and all we've got are bad decisions
|
||||
21. |
ragdoll
04:40
|
|||
i’m like a rag doll
stitched up and sewn
coming apart at the seams
no bones, she’s hollow
she’s like a rag doll sick and all
spiteful and messy i am
i carry a rifle in my hands
to shoot him down like another man whose wronged me
you didn’t want get in too deep
you didn't want to drown in me
cause i’m so fucking heavy
let it wash over me
i’m so fucking heavy
let it wash over me
it’s like i always knew
i’m concrete black and blue
i’m wet cement you left your footprint in
you can call me hollow
but that doesn’t mean i’m empty
you can resent me
cause i know how to kill maybe it’s the thrill
did you get tired of the pain
tired of my name in ur head
did u get tired and go to bed
did u let it get all to ur head
all the water in the ocean
couldn’t amount to what ur holding when you’re holding my hand
i complain
i looked like kicked puppy
i complain i get muddy and confused
i’m sorry i always loose
i’m sorry you never win
i’m sorry i shouldn’t of let u in
he’s wants me to get better
but he never (fucking) really let her
he tried to keep me inside his little arms
inside his little heart
but i’m bigger than that
all the water in the ocean
couldn’t amount to what ur holding when you’re holding my hand
he prays that i'm not always like this
he called me a narcissist
like i like myself enough
he made me cry then laughed about
how i'm not tough you called i hung up
fondness is reserved for those who deserve it
too tough to say it now so i'll say it right out loud
are you listening now
am i loud to be seen as tough
as i am small enough to be seen as pretty
am i nice enough to be deserving of your love though it was hurting me
all the water in the ocean
couldn’t amount to what ur holding when you’re holding my hand
|
||||
22. |
awake me
06:08
|
|||
i blush my cheeks to be pretty
i starved my to be skinny
simmering at the surface
there is power beneath this
i’ll clean my room mum
i'll get good and gone
i’ll breathe back in and get ready to invade
i’ll keep the distance, i think it bruised where i kissed him
and he can look over my pretty pretty portrait
he painted me with such cruelty
the way you fell right through me
foolish for it all
you can hang me in the hall
but i won’t stay for long
i’m outside with the dogs (Elliot barking)
don’t sedate me
awake me
i’m breathing better and cooling down
i’ve put barbed wire around my heart
indigo where it scared
i was on a bender but now i’m biblical for tough blushed blues
i’m biblical for loosing the noose and tightening it again
and getting better and getting over you
4321
pass the months
pass like saliva on my tongue
4321
i counted the days till i didn't love you
paint a portrait of me
let me see what you see
paint me in red
and paint me in blue
paint me whatever color you choose
paint me colors
let me see how i’m seen by others
cause the mirror lies
and so does my mind
i know that i’m patient and kind
like lavender and light
i’m the ocean at night
i’m the wind in the summer
i am my mother :)
i'm my looses and wins
i'm the scratches on my skin
i will bloom like the spring
and survive the summer
i will bloom
i will bloom
4321
i will bloom
i will bloom
i've got another lover
i will bloom
i will bloom
i will bloom
i will bloom
soft and sweet but sharp too
soft and sweet but sharp too
i will bloom
rush the blush of you
rush the blush of you
rush the blush of you
and i'm tired of being down, i'm all fight
and i'm tired of being down but it feels right when you're around
i'll bunny hop to your town
he says he loves me but i don't wan't to be anyone's baby
i've got Petal Metal to save me
rush the blush of new
rush the blush of you
how i hate to loose, but we always do
rush the blush of new
you've got me blush for you and crying too
|
French Cinema St. Petersburg, Florida
Hi! I’m Abigail. I’m originally from Scotland but i moved to Florida when i was little, i hope you can hear some Scottish influences in my music. Writing songs has become a necessity in my life and i’ve found it’s easier to understand how i feel when i write about it. Anyways i’m French Cinema, give me a listen, if you want :) ... more
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