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the velvet months

by Abigail Anderson

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bhante nuntiyo bhikkhu
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1.
beehive brain 02:40
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if i close my eyes i can still see your outline if i hold on tight i can still feel your hand in mine if i fell from the tree i don't believe you'd catch me if i fell from the stars if i wind up in bars, i don't believe you'd bail me beehive brain drive me insane i'll write letters, i'll get better, i'll get better beehive brain, drive me insane hanging in the tree, just the moonlight and breeze kiss me in the tree, it's just you and me saying oh i'm glad you don't mention the scars did you know i was in his arms? hanging in the trees we'll become leaves blowing in the wind until eventually we'll fall
2.
cold compress pt 2 03:53
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lit my candle and you watched it fade i think you burned your fingers on the wax anyways you got sick of falling right through me cause i was a little bit thin those days you got sick of me being in pain and making you feel the same i’m not saying i’m sorry because wasn’t all my fault i’m just sorry it’s over and it ended so bad you know i love you and i always have but that doesn’t do me any good now i toss around in my sheets trying to fall asleep somehow i get up and i get dressed and i go out, i make friends and i get around but you're not there when i come down i think i'm finally sick of your side of town always knew we were built to spill did you tie me up just for the thrill of watching me fall and hitting the ground all in the name of a love so profound did you lock me out cause i let you down and reminded you how much you could care and how much you could love i don't think there's a heaven above, there's clouds and love and endlessly sky i've got so much living to do before i die these days i’m eating more and i’m breathing less these days i’m need of a cold compress these days i know i need time to feel alright i'll let go of the idea i could of loved you for a lifetime i'll tuck self in tonight
3.
haunted i am 02:41
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well i heard your name today and i lost my appetite well i heard your name today and suddenly i don’t feel right dizzy i am, hurt i stand with my feet on the ground begging to be heard, i’m begging loud when you dropped my heart tell me did it make a sound was it piercing did it hurt your ears or did u hear nothing when you disappeared i’ll never see you again but my notebook and pen will see your name on occasion when i’m feeling down i’ll think about you and how we loved and lost i’ve been over it before there ain’t no use going over it more haunted i am haunted i am often i am a ghost in the sand haunted i am haunted i am haunted i am, haunted i stand haunted i am
4.
hollow orbit 02:34
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you think i’m hollow inside but i’m just filled with places to hide you don't reserve the right to be so spiteful and mean he's just sad cause he couldn't have me i know you would for me to die for you biblically i know you would love for me to be so sweet and small and maybe even answer your call i won't be a martyr for you cause love isn't dying can't you see how hard i've been trying? and i never met your mother, never met your brothers never got sweet things that i wanted but i guess it's okay i'd rather live this way than die in vain you think i'm hollow inside but it's because you've emptied me out guts on the concrete blood on the ground serenity can be found when i leave this town; you're not orbiting me now and since i don't have "jack shit" to say i guess i'll go run away sick of listening, sick of trying, sick of fucking dying for you
5.
ur not a cat in luv 01:43
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did you sleep with someone out of spite? did you wish i was there holding you tight? did she fuck you right? did she stay the night could you sleep alright? or did guilt keep you up pup cause you’re not a cat when you’re in love you’re a dog for puppy love you’re a hound slobber at the mouth you bite, you bark, you claw you’re not a cat you're a dog i'm as thin as blood do you still carry my love around, does it weigh you down? i wake up with pressure on my chest, Elly says i'm just depressed i should get up and get dressed and do my hair, i'll feel better in my underwear, i'll feel better when i can stare directly in the mirror without being scared.
6.
the velvet months 03:35
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they ask me how you are, like i would know i drink hot wine in my car, i’m all alone i brush my hair through, it’s over grown i'll cough it up to choke it back down again i’ll take the ally way because sometimes i don’t like to feel safe you hurt me cause you loved me now you’re gone you hurt me cause you loved me that’s wrong velvet green when you loved me blue eyes and your company the velvet months before blush in my western wears and southern stares the velvet months before blush and you were in my dreams again last night velvet to the touch soft and sweet your love velvet green the months velvet green the months when you loved me like someone that didn’t know well enough when you loved me like someone that you hadn’t given up when you loved me like somebody that you would show your mum when you loved me like somebody that you would spend your life chasing a wife even if it wasn't right, i'd spend my life chasing the fight, chsing the feeling of velvet love, soft to the touch chasing the feeling chasing you ahh ahh velvet love (velvet love) velvet green when you loved me, blue eyes and your company, like blood you spilled over me (velvet love) you and i, we are so sweet; kill me like a casualty, maim me like martyr (velvet love) maybe we'll find a peaceful love, maybe we'll let go of the gold we have on each other cause i love you enough to let you love another
7.
should of been in love 03:52
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my hearts been shrinking, these days i go out drinking just hoping i’ll run into you but i never do you say we should of been in love, i say a part of us always was i wear my perfume like a drug, one sniff and your mind taken up my hearts been shrinking these days i stay in thinking about me and you my heart grows cold and these arguments get old what’s the point if it’s not u ? you paint me the deepest blue and i can’t even recognize you i drive away and i ignore your call, what’s the point of anything at all you say we should of been in love, i say a part of us always was i'll wear my perfume like a drug, one sniff and your mind taken up these days i don’t learn my lessons, these days i keep from guessing these days i’ll take my medicine, these days i won’t let you in you said you’d give me the moon but i’d be happy with just having u if i gave you the sun would it burn too bright and scare everyone if i said i’d give u the stars would u resent me for going that far if u said you’d give me the stars would i resent you for trying that hard if you gave me the moon i’d probably tell you to give to someone else keep the stars in the sky and the moon in the night and the sun in the day i’d don’t need the world to be your girl my hearts been shrinking, these days i go out drinking (i can't fall out of love with you, no matter how hard i try to) my hearts been shrinking, these days i stay in thinking (i can't fall out of love with you, no matter how hard i try to) my hearts been shrinking, these days i go out drinking (i can't fall out of love with you, no matter how hard i try to) (my hearts been shrinking, these days i stay in thinking) you say we should of been in love, i say a part of us always was you say we should of been in love, you say we should of been in love
8.
not a babydoll 05:11
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always on the lookout, always on your side of town, oh what a let a down i bought new shoes and Elly never looses my love my mum gave me a hug as i left, i think she knows what i regret but i don’t think that we were that bad, he said he'd never seen u so mad but i don’t think that we were that bad, he said he'd never seen u so mad one of these days i’ll shut up and one of these days i won’t give a fuck but that day is not today cause i’ve got so much to say like why did we throw it all away? oh why did we throw it all away? why did we throw it all away, why did we throw it all away? i think it’s probably for the best we called it but all i wanna do is call you tonight, won't you just come over we’ll make it alright tell me all the reasons you care, i'll play with my hair and i'll tell you the whole truth i swear it’s almost summer, i could of been your lover, but i threw it all away i threw it all away, i threw it all away there’s freedom in letting go i don’t care if i was good to know i don’t care if i was good at all i’m not a baby doll i don’t care if i was good to know i don’t care if i was good at all i’m not a baby doll there’s freedom in letting go (let him go, let him go) there’s freedom in letting go (go let him go, go, let him go) i don’t really know how to say i love you, but i’ll shut up about it one day but today is not that day maybe someday i’ll be able to tell you how i love you but today is not that day, today is not that day i lie awake with this look on my face, i've got to let the dream of u and i die and i’ll sleep in better made beds and i’ll be in better organized heads and you’ll grow to regret ending this, but today is not that day

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released July 8, 2023

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French Cinema St. Petersburg, Florida

Hi! I’m Abigail. I’m originally from Scotland but i moved to Florida when i was little, i hope you can hear some Scottish influences in my music. Writing songs has become a necessity in my life and i’ve found it’s easier to understand how i feel when i write about it. Anyways i’m French Cinema, give me a listen, if you want :) ... more

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