you water me down you dilute me do i drown you out? with my empathy do i ware you down? oh i ware me out i won’t be defined by his apathy pick me apart like you know me talk to me like you own me hope you’re cozy in the lonely i won’t be defined by his condescension you don’t deserve my attention but you’re running around with it better stop before you trip do i ware you down? do i drown us out? condescensions an ugly look is that mouth your mother gave you? steal my bf i don't care you can clean his dirty underwear the load of laundry’s all yours i’ll leave his baggage at your door clean up his mess and then you’ll put on your best dress and your party smile you’re going out tonight, he’s gonna stay awhile but the baggage is all mine he’s the only reason why i fall asleep at night i’m his only mess in my best dress and my party smile do i ware you down? with my sadness do you love me? or just our familiarity is our love a passing causality? will you become a stranger to me? do i ware you down? do i tire you out? are you sick of me now? have we grown out of each other? there’s is still love but i feel further from you

it’s raining today i hope you think of me at the end of the day you'll have a price to pay i don’t want revenge just wish you had spoken to me not them you dropped me like a ton of bricks bet i was so heavy weighing down on your chest all of things that i would say Cold Compress bet i was so heavy with all of my doubts i was worried that you could live without me now when i’m sick i take care of myself and i hold my own hand and it’s warmer than your hand ever was cause you were always so cold yeah it makes me sad that i won’t warm up your hands anymore but you’ve got someone new for that and i’ll write and i’ll cry and i’ll sit and i’ll die for you (or the person i thought i knew) and i’ll write and i’ll sit and i’ll cry and i’ll watch the cars, i’ll watch the cars picture you at a gay bar with your boyfriend and his split ends i was never one for this city but now i hate her i was never one to look pretty but now i’m older you were never one to be vain but know you've moved on i was always one to feel pain but now i feel numb i feel numb but the worst part is that you don’t care i know it doesn’t matter anymore but i wish that you knew how much it hurt i wish you knew how it felt when you walked away and didn’t turn back you left me bleeding on the concrete that day back when you first first said you loved me but i didn’t yet you left me bleeding on the concrete baby where i begged you to love me but you didn't anymore bleeding on the concrete baby bleeding on concrete lately bleeding in my bed it seems so much bigger with the absence of you was i like concrete baby? just too heavy were you like concrete baby? i thought you grounded me there’s so many things i could say like you’re not mature, you're not grow up and it wasn’t a mature kind of love but it felt like it was i won’t poke holes in what we were because of how we ended i know it was love and it was pure but you weren’t strong enough to hold the weight of us you weren’t strong enough to look me in my eyes and tell me you’d met a guy instead you lied and left me bleeding on the concrete baby i need a cold compress daily you left me bleeding like you don't know me you promised you wouldn't do this and like a fool i believed you you said you loved me while you liked him you said you loved me but you re a liar and while you’re keeping his bed warm i hope you get cold the vanity is astounding, a cheater who is drowning in all the people he trampled there's no excuse as far as i'm concerned he's just as to blame with his stupid name i hope you float away on a River nothing will stop me from feeling sad about the love we had nothing except time so i'll wait

take me with a sip of water i’m a bitter sweet pill take me with a sip of water i’m kinda hard to swallow i let my feeling wallow i sit in my pain i sit in my pain watch me wallow i sit in my pain i sit in my pain watch me wallow take me with a sip of water i’m a bitter sweet pill take me with a sip of water i’m kinda hard to swallow i let my feeling wallow i sit in my pain i sit in my pain watch me wallow i sit in my pain i sit in my pain watch me wallow

i’m gonna claw out your eyes with my bare hands you don’t deserve to see you’re a dead man you lied and you died right in front of eyes the person you used to be was just a disguise i don’t know who you are or where you’re going but i hope it’s far from me i hope that you know a mistake is okay but when it happens twice it’s not a mistake it’s a pattern it’s your personality, it’s ugly and it’s mean you’re hurtful and your vanity is disgusting you’re cockroach in a cup and i don’t know what do with you i could throw you outside but i might just have to kill you with bottom of my dad shoe he’s a rat in the ground, i hope that’s he found and killed by a mean human rat poison isn’t enough for the shit you’ve done maybe you’ll drown in a River i hate Rivers now they’re so shallow there’s no depth there’s just murky water tell me when you look at him do you see your reflection? sorry i tried better you as person sorry i wanted you to grow i hope you know that you’re dead to me not that you care (sadly you're dead to me) but your dead to me you’re dead to me dead if i still see you walking around i’m gonna shoot you down with a mean cold stare i hope you pee in your underwear i you’re fucking scared fuck you Kaden you’re fucking dead to me

Condescension, apprehension, oh the tension shamelessly flirt with me i don’t have a boyfriend anymore wide eyed, sleep deprived, looks they lie i don’t have a boyfriend anymore let’s do all the things i couldn’t before getting over him isn’t gonna be pure getting over him isn’t gonna be pure you in that suit with your hair down tell me all the things we can’t say out loud you in that suit with your hair down tell me when you gonna come around cause i miss the feeling of being wanted he left me feeling so haunted in my own skin like i am worth nothing i miss the feeling of being needed he left me pleading on the ground guess i know what i’m worth now you left me to clean up your mess you’ve got somebody else to impress you’ve got somebody to destress you’ve got somebody else i guess i’ll find somebody else to impress i’ll find somebody else to undress i’ll find somebody else crumpled me like paper, spat on me like the ground threw me in the dirt but i’m picking my head up now i were you i’d watch out i didn’t eat for a week but i’m hungry now didn’t have to stab me and leave me out bleeding with vultures circling all around wide eyed sleep deprived people they lie wide eye sleep deprived you you lie wide eyed sleep deprived people they lie wide eye sleep deprived you you lie

hold me down so i don’t have to lift the weight of myself gag me so i don’t have to speak choke me so i don’t have to breathe fuck me so i don’t have to be - me i can be the object of your desire i’m not a drug but i’ll take you higher i can be the object of your desires tire me out so i can sleep i'll do my laundry and clean my sheets let your mind be consumed by me get a little obsessed and we’ll watch it fade i’ll wear your chain and you’ll call me babe i can be the object of your desire no we don’t have to fuck i’ll be a fire on forest floor and you’ll be a passerbyer watching me burn i'll be object your desire tie me up so i don’t have to move my limbs blindfold me so i don’t have to see oh everything seems so bleak but it’s not when you’re around oh everything seems so shit but with you it’s all profound i’m gonna find my own happiness in time i’m gonna find my own reasons to survive but right now won’t you come around and hold me as the sun goes down i’ll wait a year i suppose if i’m still here, my bed is all yours my dear hold me down so i don’t have to lift the weight of myself gag me so i don’t have to speak choke me so i don’t have to breathe fuck me so i don’t have to be - me i can be the object your desire the object of your desire i could be the object of your desire i can be your object

you look scared and you should be you treated me so nasty you treated me like i was nothing but now you’re the one whose running so run fast and run far go clean your dirty heart run away from me you're scared and you should be i hope drown i hope drown i hope you forget how to breathe hope you get stung by all the bees i hope that it ends nasty i hope that you feel cold i hope that you get old and mean i hope you get old and regret what you did to me you’re scared of me and you should be you and your boyfriend are so ugly built on my bones and bruises you're built on my loss and looses built on the shit that broke me you’re built on my heart you’re built on my heart you stomped on it till it fell apart could of done without this tonight i’m living on the edge of a knife and it could slice me when ever it wants i’m living in a room of haunts i’m living in the shadow of my own loss i am shaking from the inside my lungs are filled with ice i’m shaking from the inside my bones are rattling my rib cage is tightening in the cvs fluorescent lighting saw you run away in to the night if i had a knife i’d of stabbed you if you had a heart you’d feel bad if i could breathe i would yell at you if i could breathe i'd of told you to fucking die to fucking leave to end your life completely to fucking leave to fucking die i close my eyes are you’re not there anymore i close my eyes but i’m still here i close my eyes you can drive your car of the bridge and drown you can drive your car off the bridge and fucking die you can drive your car off the bridge call it suicide call it suicide i wouldn’t wish that upon anyone especially not someone i used to love call it suicide the death of you and i call it suicide next time i’ll be braver i won’t hide you little coward you little boy you little bitch i hope that you drown in the mess you made i hope you drown in his stupid name i hope you drown you both deserve each other ugly fucking lovers know when i picture you i picture everything around you dying i picture everything turning black and grey when you touch it fades i haven’t shed a single tear since the last time i cried i haven’t shed a single tear, no more wasted on you you exist in a cloud of hurt you exist in sucker punch of a storm you’re a big baby who will never learn you’re a piece of shit and i hope you burn and i know you’re always cold and i hope you get colder how do u sleep at night? in his arms i suspect how do u sleep at night? kissing his neck oh i’ll punch you less crooked it might bruise and be a little bloody but it’s worth it to fix your ugly it’s worth it to feel a little better oh she’d kill you if i let her oh she’d kill you if i let her the girl i used to be and the girl i am are fading in and out am i’m kind and devout but then i’ll kill you i’m in drought i’m in some kind of storm you fucking liar, you fucking fool you lost the thing that was real to you all i lost was a liar so in reality i gained the truth all i lost was liar all i lost was you i’m gonna be loud i’m gonna get in your way i’m gonna pull out the knife i’ve been hiding behind the hurt i’ll picture your death till i can handle that fact you’re still alive i’ll picture you dying till i can get over all his lying the minute you left you started to look like someone i’ve never met i’ll picture your death till i can handle that fact you’re still alive i’ll picture your death call it suicide

i do my morning routine in the afternoon i daydream about fucking you i bought myself flowers today i can feel the pain starting to fade i’m not who i was yesterday i’m not who i’ll be tomorrow fuck him and his codependency fuck my codependency he's given to me fuck me and my tendency to fall too fast fuck the tendency for things not to last i made myself dinner i can feel myself getting thinner i thought he was everything turns out he was just all of my time fuck him and his codependency fuck my codependency he's given to me fuck me and my tendency to fall too fast fuck the tendency for things not to last well i used to be young and in love now i just young well i used to be committed but now i kiss girls for fun well i used to hate myself but now i'm learning to love

i’m feeling worn out i’m feeling out worn i’m feeling just a little bit bored must you act the way you do? oh the things that i could say to you why is everyone always looking for love? can’t we just be 2 people in the same space in the same moment in the same space in the same moment why does everybody always want more when i don’t have much to give why does everyone want more when i don’t have anything why does everybody want more than i can give? why’re you always looking for love? why’re you always looking for love? the hopeless romantic in me is gone that’s a lie cause i look into your eyes like i always have look into your eyes and i want you bad look into your eyes like i always have oh i look at you like we could be more why i’m always lookin for love with you that’s not something i usually do why’re we always looking for love? why’re we always looking for love? i’m barley back to life i’ve been free bleeding for a month now yeah my iron count is down i only started eating a week ago i haven’t stopped bleeding just so you know i pulled my self apart at the seams to make room for you gave you a home and bed, my happiness i gave you all of me but that wasn’t enough you had to go and fuck me up didn’t ask for much just your honesty and you couldn’t even give that to me fuck you and your fucking apathy fuck you and the shit you’ve done to me fuck you yeah my iron count is down but if you see me i’d watch out cause i’m stronger now

second guess me, i’ll be your maybe turn me on to turn me down start a fire to stomp it out i'm sinking into the sofa i'm drinking to get sober won't you hold me like you hold her oh you know me better than them you move like a flame i’m smoking your name i'm a moth to your flame if i get too close i’ll burn if i get too close i’ll learn my lesson i'm sinking into the sofa i'm drinking to get sober won't you hold me like you hold her oh you know me better than them mary janes and birthday cakes hold me i’m wide awake kiss me slowly i’m a good fake give me the attention i crave attention i crave attention i crave second guess me i'll be your maybe love then leave me hurt then heal me dirty then clean me you're aroused by my innocence think and then reflect oh i'm sinking into the sofa i'm drinking to get sober won't you hold me like you hold her oh i know you better than them i'll pick myself up dust my joints and push my bruises i'll check for loose teeth after gettin punched bloody maybe the tooth fairy will give me money oh i'm sinking into closure i no longer know her the girl i was with you, the girl i was with you i'm sinking into closure i am clean and sober i don't need you or her i've got mary janes and birthday cake jeans that fit and friends that make life better (oh i'm sinking into the sofa i'm drinking to get sober won't you hold me like you hold her) i've got Elly and the tele god help the girl on dvd a cup of tea and an arts degree (oh i'm sinking into closure you're drowning i don't know who you are and i don't want to anymore) i wonder if he knows he's who i adore i wonder if he knows i bet his girlfriend does i think his girlfriend knows i'm sinking into the sofa i'm drinking to get sober won't you hold me like you hold her tell your girlfriend that we're just friends tell your girlfriend that we're just friends maybe she'll let me see you on the weekend tell your girlfriend that we're just friends tell your boyfriend that he can fuck off i'll tell my good friends that i love them

buy 50 cent ring it’ll will turn your fingers green love a liar it will turn you mean she’s caught between who she is and who she wants to be get up and get dressed forget about what he did forget about what she said get up and get dressed almost called him by your name my mouth was filled with sour taste lovers spit in the name of heartbreak lovers spit for salivas sake almost called him by your name i’ve got to rewire my brain he’s no longer everything he’s no longer everything he’s no longer everything he’s no longer everything 11:34 i don’t love you anymore i’m gonna start a garden and you bet your ass i’ll grow it doesn’t hurt like it did but it still stings though i'm a bag of bones with no where to call home buy 50 cent ring it’ll will turn your fingers green love a liar it will turn you mean

dog bites hard signs in your neighborhoods yard white picket fence, rules, and prom dresses your perfect daughter the pigs are home from slaughter not my hometown i’m not even from around here not my hometown shut your american mouth i will not grow old here i will not waste youth and years i will not die on this american ground i’m not even from around here you are too young and tired you are too devoured by american mouths not your perfect daughter not your pig to lead to slaughter i don’t want to hear one more word out of your american mouth so sick of the sounds must you always be this loud? with your american mouth kiss me slow with your american mouth kiss me well with your american mouth must you always be this loud? with your american mouth you are too young and tired you are too devoured by american mouths not your perfect daughter not your pig to lead to slaughter i don’t want to hear one more word out of your american mouth must you always be so loud? must you always be so proud? with your american mouth american mouth there's never enough music to drown it out shut your american mouth

you’ve worn me out for the last time i feel tired now, i feel that i i want a baby blue guitar i’ll call her honey and you’ll be far away and it’ll me sad until the day it doesn’t i feel that i don’t know how i feel did i ever though? i think it’s better if i don’t see you that way i don’t don’t know what i’m missing you wonder why i never eat right you wonder why i never pick your call i’m happy in the bliss of ignorance i’m happy in the bliss of ignorance when it comes to you when it comes to you i'd rather not know what i'm missing i think it’s better if i don’t see you that way i don’t don’t know what i’m missing you wonder why i never eat right you wonder why i look in your eyes i wonder if i even like guys you wonder if i am your type i wonder if i’m gonna be alright in the bliss of ignorance don’t know how i feel did i ever though? did i ever though? did i ever though? did i ever though? did i ever though? in the bliss of ignorance happy in the bliss of ignorance when it comes to you

i’ll take a shower as if i’ll feel clean after it i’ll call and you won’t answer oh i’m so over it i’m so over myself so over my health i don't want to get better just forget her and let her fade in a Mazzy Star kinda way let me fade not fade into you i’ll fade into a different color of blue but not like the sky no something sadder than that like the blue of laundromat or the blue of his eyes i'll fade into your midnight surprise oh you’ll call and i won’t answer i’m so over it, i’m so over this i’m so over it, i’m so over this i’m so over myself i don't want to take care of my health i don’t want to get better just let her fade in a Mazzy Star kinda way just let me fade in a Mazzy Star kinda way just let me fade

i had a dream about you oh what i would give to have you cough drops and smoking pot oh what i would give to flick him off love, drugs, and alcohol i would give it all up if i could have you if i could have you sun on the concrete take out and hot coffee growing up and growing into myself not talking to her cause she’s bad for my health love, drugs, and alcohol i would give it all up if i could have you if i could have you i'll slip into goodbye its easier when i can see you what am i supposed to do? its always sugar, salt, salt with you its always sugar, salt, salt with you its always sugar, salt, salt with you i’m an angel in the snow i feel my prettiest in the cold sugar salt salt kiss me goodbye i cry cry cry let me go i hold on tight won’t you stay for the night? its always sugar, salt, salt with me its always sugar, salt, salt with me its always sugar, salt, salt with you its always sugar, salt, salt with you

i wrote it down so i wouldn’t forget you held me close so i wouldn’t leave yet i’ll let you go and smoke a cigarette i'll make decisions that i’ll grow to regret but you’re in love sweet sweet love something that i could only dream of and you'll still call even though i don’t answer and i’ll waltz with you even though i’m not a dancer you’ll watch me fall you know i’m a chancer for your love your sweet sweet love something that i could only dream of sweet sweet love i could only dream of i wear a watch to bed now your existence in my world makes me a better girl and i’ll scroll through but no one’s u i’ll have a bite or 2 but i i feel pretty when i don’t eat pretty in the back seat pretty for you i feel better when we stay in i’ll drink all of your gin tipsy for you anything for you pretty for you i'll go back to the bus and you'll go back to her yeah i'll go back to the bus and you'll go back to her back to her i feel pretty in your bed giving you head pretty for you i feel pretty in the sunlight i’ll drink all of your wine drunk for you i feel better when i eat food i'll take some nudes just for you always for you anything for you i feel pretty next to you i feel pretty next to you i'll write it down so won't forget you held me close and no i don't regret i'll sit and wonder when i'll see you again.

warm sun in the cold wind i feel my fingers sinking in to my skin i’m hurting at the highest point in Scotland yet i still think of him and it doesn't feel as cold as it was and i don't think you could call it love you've got a girlfriend is that why you're not calling you said that you cared so why weren’t you there? how come you haven’t called ? how come you haven’t called ? you haven’t called and i'll let the waves wash over me hey baby there'll be other fish in the sea but we've got something don't we, don't we the last time i was wearing this dress it ended up on the floor in a crumpled mess i haven't worn it since, we got all dressed up just to stay in and you don't call like you used to and i'll fall like i always do and you'll comeback around in a month or two and I write about you till my fingers turn blue i’ll write about you till my fingers turn blue but how come you haven’t called ? how come you haven’t called ? he hasn't called there's a lump in my throat on the train headed south i hear you’re doing well from word of mouth i'll find something else to day dream about there's a hole in my head where my brain used to be there’s a hole in my chest where my heart used to beat Kaden took it out so cruelly and Joe brings such sweet relief, such sweet relief i'm sorry if we made a mess of it all i promise next time i'l answer your call how come he hasn't called ? how come he hasn't called ? you haven't called there's a hole in my head where my brain used to be there’s a hole in my chest where my heart used to beat i don't want to make anymore mistakes i don't want to make you loose your faith unfaithful and you can fix my hair from my jumper and pretend like you lost my number and i'll accept and move on i know that what we did was wrong but how come he hasn't called ? how come you haven't called ? you haven't called

i don’t move on even though your gone back to the old house again sleep in your childhood bed i’ll see you when summer ends hmm hmm hmm i don’t really like sex with men maybe i’m a lesbian maybe i will be the man oh i’m a bunny with a watering can oh i’m a bunny with a watering can oh you can try me on for size oh baby you’re just a nice guy oh you can try me on for size oh baby you’re just a nice guy (i know i’m in your top five) hmm hmm hmm i’ll never be the girl you want i’ll never be the girl you love i’ll never be a girl at all, i’ll never be a girl at all i don’t want anyone but you no one else will do no i don’t want anyone but you no one else will do i’ll unfurl myself like a fern to meet your touch i’ll unfurl myself like a fern to receive your love like the sun receive your love like the sun i’ll let the wind blow i’ll let my stomach fold maybe i’ll let you go back to the old house again back to my notebook and pen you know that i'll be writing about him can you tell you me no? promise i’ll let go i’m a dog with a bone can we build a lego home? and play make believe i know i'll never been what you need if i close my eyes can you tell me what color they are? and he made my bed but baby it was his mess no i don’t want him again no i don’t want anyone but you no nobody else will do i don’t want anyone but you no nobody else will do Elliot smith and bandage cuts Mountain Eerie fall out of love Star Flyer 59 it’s always been tough Slowdive you really never knew me enough, you never really tried Big Star i know that you lied Mojave 3 you’ve got it out for me i know love isn't what it's cut out to be i know she broke me softly i know my life is art i know that things fall apart maybe i’m caught in the casualties maybe i’m caught in your crossfire i'll listen to the Cocteau twins and expire i don’t want anyone but you no nobody else will do i don’t want anyone but you no nobody else will do back to the old house again where my parents will ask how you're doing back to the old house again the Smiths and make pretend hey maybe it it'll be us in the end?

the summer takes her time to you bring you back round to mine it’s always been you and i that’s a dream i’ll never let die oh you kill me so sweetly oh you thrill me so deeply oh you love just to leave me you made the other woman out of me it’s a cold comfort to be near just out of reach but i can feel you i’ve been having a hard time just trying to eat right i’ve been having a hard time just trying to sleep at night i’ve been having a hard time trying to make up my mind we don't talk and that’s fine i’ll read the paper and i’ll drink my coffee i’ll make conversations with the birds and concrete and i'll be there if you want me yeah i'll be here if you want me strike a match and go for gold in the flames that's where you hold me that night we were unholy strike a match and go for gold you say your girlfriend wants to get to know me in the flames that's where you hold me i know what we did was unholy i know what we did was unholy

i’m on a bus breaking my back for your attention at a party breaking my back for eye contact breaking my back i’m good at that feed me the table the scraps hungry for the attention i lack across the ocean breaking my back for your attention in my room breaking my back just to please you breaking my back i’m good at that feed me the table the scraps hungry for the attention i lack breaking my back and bruising my knees breaking my back i aim to please oh breathe in and breathe out i am kind and devout hold on let go i'll move to Glasgow like the ferns i'll hope and prey like the church i'll fall into decay and like the robins i'll sing another day

sometimes i feel like i could write for hours about him or her or them i can romanized until the crawbird cries and i’m back home in my bed anyways i’m thinking of getting out of here i’m thinking i’ll buy a pack of beer he is the summer and always will be fleeting and lovely but not made to last burny and hot like ice cream and sunscreen cracks on a pavement or a bullet in gun he’s just somebody’s son oh it’s nice to be somebodies someone i’ll lean and sway through the chaos of every day i’ll wear a watch and count the hours till the summer brings the rain i’ll feel at home in the grey i’ll feel at home in the sadness put me in your harness go on and do it baby leash me everybody knows i’d be your dog i’d be your puppy sitting pretty waiting for you waiting for you i’d be your dog i’d be your puppy sitting pretty i’d be your lady if you’d let me even thought i don’t feel like a girl i’d be your baby i’d be your puppy sitting pretty so go on and do it baby won’t you leash me put me out of my sweet sweet misery get me out of my sweet sweet misery you keep me in sweet sweet sweet sweet misery sweet sweet sweet sweet misery you keep me, you keep keep me misery in sweet sweet sweet sweet misery i don't really know where we stand and i can't really stand up i don't really know where we lie and i can't really lie down i don't know where you are i just play my guitar i don't know where you are you're probably with her i don't know where i am i'm probably in a band i don't know where you are, you're somewhere in my heart just do it baby get me out of my sweet sweet sweet sweet misery sweet sweet sweet sweet misery you keep keep you keep keep me misery you keep me in sweet sweet sweet sweet misery sweet sweet sweet sweet misery sweet misery

you may forget but i never will you might think i’m over it but i’m a bitter pill i hold on to resentment like the sky will fall if i let it go i remember when your hand was the one i’d hold the only thing that i miss now is how i used to feel when you were around i think i’ve grown and changed a lot you said some things don’t think i forgot i hold on to what you did wrong we were in love a year again now you’ve never seemed so cold you were everything a year ago i've thinned out and settled down i’m hanging around and calmed down you didn’t have to hurt so hard you didn’t have to break my heart you may forget but i never will you might think i’m over it but i’m a bitter pill i found a friend in myself i destroyed the shelf i put you on the only thing i miss now is your mom the only thing i miss now is your mom it's been a while now i'm 21 young and i'm so far fucking out of love, far out i think that i'm passed anger i think that i'm passed hunger the only thing that i miss now is how i used to feel when you were around